Why Roger Should Live
by j.m.hxc. xo420
Summary: All I have to do is cut a vein...then the nightmare ends. Roger's voice was full of pain. Disclaimer: I don't own. I rent.


Roughly based off a real life event. Read and review please!  
Highschool!Mark/Roger. Bwhahaha! Love-ada-slash.

---

He ran his fingers through short, spiked hair. His green eyes showed a glint of nervousness, then flickered to peace. A broken then perfect smirk flickered over his lips. Metallica blared in the backround of it all. _Let it go... _He told himself. _Let the pain go. Please. take it. Someone. Anyone. Make it leave._

He ran the thin, flimsy razorblade over his wrist. Again. Again. Again. Each time allowing the blade to slide deeper.

_"Your words are doing this. Your thoughts. Your dreams. Everything you have ever said to me and ever wanted is making these marks."_ Roger's mind reminded him of those words he had told his best friend, Mark Cohen, earlier that same day. "It's not really you, Mark. This is everyone else. You don't understand this. It's so complex I barely understand. God, Mark I need you. Where are you when I need you?"

Roger slid the blade deeper. Dark, deep cuts appeared as deep crimson and red liquid poured down his arm in torrents. He watched with a look of satisfaction. The pain. It was so right. It felt so perfect. Surely Mark and everyone would understand. It was a type of high he was aiming for. It was perfection.

He stared at the blood as it ran, entranced by it.

He cut again, deeper, deeper, hoping to hit a vein. As he let his hurt and pain flow like the blood, he couldn't help but wonder what the causes of his pain were doing.

---

Mark sat boltright up in his bed. Something felt wrong.

He felt a pain from somewhere. Deep, distant.

Roger was hurting. _Roger..._ Mark thought, grabbing his cellphone from his nightstand and dialing Roger's cell phone with an unbelieveable speed.

"Hello?" Roger's strained voice came from the other end. Relief was far from close for Mark.

"Roger, are you okay?" Mark asked, worried. He had had deep feelings for Roger for a long time; ever since they first met. He had fallen for Roger the minute those soft green orbs had stared into his own. Mark loved Roger more than he had ever cared for anyone, but he could never tell Roger. No, Roger was so popular. Everyone loved him. He was everyone's best friend. He could have any girl he wanted. But he never took any of the cheerleaders that threw themselves at him, he simply ignored them and went on. He always wore a crimson coloured bandana over his wrist, Mark never knew quite why.

"Mark...I'm fine," Roger replied, trying to comfort his best friend through his own pain. He dabbed a towel at the blood running faster down his arm.   
Mark twisted the bedsheet worriedly. "Roger...are you sure? Please, I'm worried about you..."

Roger was silent, before responding, "You know, I could just cut a vein and it would all be over..."

"No! Roger, you can't! There is so much going for you!" Mark practically screamed into the phone. He could picture Roger laughing a bit.

Roger was silent for a moment, as if lost in thought. "Like what? Name one thing, Cohen."  
Mark wanted to say Roger had him. But he couldn't. That would make it worse. Roger would call him a fag and hang up on him. No, he couldn't. "Your music."

"Mark, I haven't written a song since last year."

"So, your still awesome. You can sing and play and you are so talented!" Mark continued gushing. He wanted to say Roger was gorgeous. He wanted to tell Roger that he loved him.

He heard Roger laugh sarcastically. "Yeah, whatever. Listen, I want to go find a new blade, I just broke this one. I'm going to end it. Tonight."

"NO!" Mark screamed. He was scared. He couldn't lose Roger. "Roger, you can't. I...I lo----" Mark couldn't bring himself to say it. How come he couldn't tell Roger he loved him? It was three easy words: 'I love you.'

"Roger, please promise me when we get off the phone you'll go right to sleep."

"Mark, I can't--" Roger began, but Mark quickly cut him off.

"Promise."

Roger sighed angrily. He was frustrated. "I...Mark..." Roger sighed. He was struggling and fighting with himself mentally.

"Roger, please. Promise. Promise _me_," Mark begged, his voice desperate. Roger couldn't die. Not before Mark worked up the courage to tell Roger his secret.

There was a long silence between both of them. The time felt like an eternity Mark.

Roger's soft voice finally broke the long silence. "Promise. For you."

Mark smiled and sighed a sigh of relief. Roger would be okay. He would be okay for one more day. One more day for Mark to tell Roger. His last chance. "Thanks, Roger."

"Your welcome," Roger replied, fidgeting with something in the backround. A faint sound of a door slamming caught Mark and Roger's ears.

"I have to go. My dad is home and he sounds pissed. I'm probably in for a huge beating..." Roger whispered, fear creeping into his voice. "Bye, Mark. See you tommorrow."

Before Mark could respond or even register what Roger had just said, he was listening to dead air.

Mark went to lay down in bed, trying hard to sleep. But sleep was forever away from him. He was too worried about Roger to sleep. He grabbed a pen and some blank paper and began to write. In big bold letters at the top he wrote: **Reasons For Roger Davis To Live.**

**1.** You have so much going for you.

**2.** Your little sister needs you.

**3.** You have so much in store for your future.

**4. **School would be pretty damn lame without you there to goof it up.

**5.** Who would I go to when I need help?

**6.** They don't play rock music in cemetaries.

**7.** If you kill yourself, you go to hell. And Satan isn't the type of person you want to spend eternity with.

**8.** No matter how much pain your in, I'm always here to try to help you.

**9.** You have friends who love you.

**10.** Believe it or not, your dad loves you.

**11.** God loves you.

**12.** Who would help me pass phsy. ed? Lord knows I can't do that alone.

**13.** What would happen to April?

**14.** Six feet of earth is pretty heavy.

**15.** Eternal suffering doesn't sound like fun.

**16.** Believe it or not, there will be no parties in hell. And I doubt you will find much rock and roll music being played.

**17.** Who would play the lead role in all of my films?

**18.** Who would be my friend?

**19.** What's the fun in egging your own house?

**20.** Summer school would be pretty quiet

**21.** Who would bring me to all the cool parties and make everyone be nice to me?

**22.** Two words: drivers license

**23.** Who would go to the beach and stare at all the girls in skimpy bikini's?

**24.** Algebrag 2 would drag on forever without you there to piss Mrs. Kelsing off.

**25.** Tormenting trick-or-treaters on Halloween won't be half as fun without you there to really scare the shit outta em.

**26.** Who but you would put up with my moodiness and constant obsession?

**27.** Who would teach me how to dance really pathetically?

**28.** Who would play "ding-dong-ditch" with me?

**29.** Who would make a song to help me remember the presidents?

**30.** Don't you think it would be cold in the winter under cold earth and snow and without a blanket?

**31.** Who will I give these Ozzfest tickets to?

**32.** Who would go with me to the movies just to throw Skittles at the people in the audience?

**33.** They don't serve breakfast in hell.

**34.** Who would get me into an R rated movie?

**35.** Who would get us fake ID's to go into strip clubs?

**36.** Despite popular belief, I doubt there are naked women in hell waiting to give you beer and lapdances.

**37.** Who would confuse our teachers into not giving us homework for the weekend?

**38.** April's party is on Friday. You don't want to miss her pole dancing do you?

**39.** There is nothing fun about panty raiding your grandmothers house alone.

**40.** Who would be my lab partner when we have to disect things?

**41.** That being said, who would take me to the nurses office when I faint from seeing the blood?

**42.** Who would protect me from getting our asses kicked by the jocks for looking into the cheerleaders shower room?

**43.** Lots of people care about you.

**44.** Who would I dream about every night?

**45.** Who would give me my first kiss?

**46.** Who would I love forever and ever if I can't have you?

---

"That's enough...I think..." Mark said, reading the list over one last time. He signed his name at the bottom with a love before it. Love, Mark. It looked perfect. Mark folded the list up neatly and set it in his backpack. Tommorrow he would give it to Roger. Tommorrow Roger would know what Mark so desperately wanted to tell him.

Tommrrow everything would be okay.

---

Mark waited by Roger's locker for a long time that morning. It seemed like four eternities to Mark. He grew impatient with the wait. Roger was never this late, unless his dad gave him a ride.

Finally, Roger arrived. His hair was a mess and his bandana wasn't tied on tight enough. He was a complete mess. But on Roger, that look kind of worked.

Mark smiled weakly and handed Roger the letter.

After what were the most agonizing moments of Mark's life, Roger looked up from the paper in his hand. "Thanks, Mark." Roger replied. He stared into Mark's blue eyes for a few moments before pulling Mark into a gentle, yet warm hug. "I love you too. You saved me."

---

Story end. What do you think? Please review!

XxGinnyxX


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